Sometimes u just dont realize whether an issue in your life has been already settled or not unless... You encounter it... again... in a bad and hard way?
Im talkin bout my bad mouth and tongue here. I brought up in life with a background thats quite umm... influenced by my surroundings and my environment. I used to swears a lot lol. Its not a good thing to do but it's a fact, and i didnt know why it was so bad back then. But amongst those time, i made a policy that i shouldnt swear / throw faulty language to a girl, any girl, under any circumstances.
When i became born-again christian (almost 2.5 yrs ago) i learnt that swearing is not a good thing at all. Thus i tried to stop it... but its so hard to change back then... but thru the Holy Spirit conviction, i chose to do it out of love... not because simply some ppl said i cant swears. So by God's grace and power, i finally able to stop swearing... (2 years ago?)
Well...ok i thought i've dealt with that issue. Anyway bout noon yesterday, i met with some friend of mine, and his gf came along too. Soon the gf was startin to swear here and there, every now and then. OMG... (i didnt know if could fill this way) i just felt so irritated to hear a lady that swears... a lot. At this point i somehow just felt disgusted, that last time i was like this too.
Anyhow, later on that nite i talked with 1 of my friend abt it. I told her how i thank God that i am saved, and become born again christian, and have change, becoz of this gal that i met is so bad, blablablabla.... and so on, until... (i didnt know what struck me...) i was in the middle of a conversation / discussion, cant even remember what were we talkin abt, and suddenly, unconciously, i blurted out 'that' word!! To a gal some more... and not just some gal. T_T
So i quickly apologized and all... but its too late... its said and done... the last thing that i imagined i would never do just happened!! OMG!!~ Well ppl said there's always a first time in everything. I've had my first fight, I've had my first crush and crushed, I've had my first plane ride, I've had my first hug, I've had my first confessions, I've had my first moment where i couldnt say a thing to a gal bcoz i was so nervous, I've had my first encounter with God, I've had my first touched by the Spirit, and apparantely YESTERDAYwas the day that i've had my first moment of swearing (well blurted out the 's' word) to a girl... that i care for. How awesome is that!!~ My life is complete!!~ LOL. D'oh!!! O'man gotta tell u i've felt like an idiot, i've felt like a jerk, i've felt so bad.
After i finnished apologizin, and talkin to her, i still felt bad and very uneasy, the conviction from the Holy Spirit kicked in! Have i really settled this issue in my life? Or what? Such role model i am!! Far out man... Soon afterwards i quickly repented, ask for His forgiveness, and ask God's power to change me. I took The Sword... and got reminded by these 2 awesome scriptures:
Matthew 7: 1-5
James 2: 2-12
Oh man... its so scary how a slip of the tongue can get me feel really^2 bad... not that i shudnt fill bad abt it... It's just that the tounge is a dangerous tool... U can either use it to bless or to curse... i preferably dont wanna choose the latter. But i didnt use my tounge to bless my friend's gf yesterday... I could've said something, but i just judge her... i didnt even see / remove the issues of life that i stil even have within me, but i already try to find her fault or issues. The irony is that the 's' word that i blurted out to her is the word that i heard and felt disgusted by that afternoon. lol. Do i fill like the pharisees and seducees (spelling?) or what.... GrRrR...
Anyway i thank God for letting this happened, and bringin it up to my awarness, otherwise i dunno what greater damage i can cause in the future ahead. x_x
I can even make my own mastercard advertisement now. Flowers: $8, Dinner: $50, me2u bear: $100, Blurted out the 's' word to a girl u care for: Priceless!! There's somethin money cant buy, for everything else there's master card!! (My version: There's somethin money cant buy, for everythin else, there's God's Grace!!)
To her: Were u shocked? lol i think i was even shocker to my self back then. lol. Man i couldnt sleep nice that nite. Oh man... i guess i better do somethin special to make amends with her... Ice creams? ;D lol.
